Getting Clean

Ummmm, you guys.
I haven't had a diet coke since Tuesday.
Do you know what today is????????
friday.
tgif (remember tgif? awesome.)

Do you know what this means??? 3 full days. 72 hours without a hit.
My body is confused
as is my mind.

10 a.m. is a confusing time of day as that's when I usually cracked open my first one.
2:30 p.m. is also confusing and the hardest time to just say no.

How do I get through the mid-afternoon drudgery without a diet coke? I drink a black coffee. because I read somewhere it lowers your chance for stroke and diabetes. And I don't want either of those things. obviously. Whenever I read health facts, they stick with me for life. regardless of whether or not it is proven wrong later, it stays with me.

I've been drinking multiple diet beverages, daily, for about 8 years. I often wonder if I have any stomach lining left. Maybe not. But, fingers crossed stomach lining grows back. I am too afraid to google the damage I have done to my body with my nearly decade long addiction.

because whenever I google things, I get anxiety. Like the time I thought for almost a full year that I probably had herpes. Even though I had never done anything that could have given me herpes. I don't even think I high-fived anyone that year. And yet, I was convinced I had contracted it. There were no symptoms, no possible way, it was just a feeling.

Where the feeling came from, I am unsure. Hugging someone too close maybe. Or from a restaurant. I'm always afraid what happens in restaurant kitchens. Not everyone is nice and who knows what disgruntled people do in kitchens. Who knows.

I am not a hypochondriac. Or a purel user. I don't trust purel users. I just have...strange fears.

Unnecessary anxiety is my specialty. The way I always cover my face when I turn on the garbage disposal, for example. I have concerns that something is going to shoot out at me and take out my eye. I have never heard of a garbage disposal attacking anyone but I'm sure I will be the first. I think maybe it's the sound a garbage disposal makes. Aggressive. The mind is an interesting thing.

Anyway, all I really wanted to say is I am 3 days clean but as per usual I found several tangents. Really though, no diet coke in 3 days. My leg won't stop bobbing up and down because of all the coffee I am consuming, but, at least I am off the aspertame. Progress.