Football for Women

This past Sunday I was at home watching football with my boyfriend and best friend. I don't mind watching football if it's a game or team that I care about but I don't have the attention span to sit in front of a television all day watching game after game. My bf and my bff do not feel the same way. On this particular Sunday I was fuming. Did they not realize that I was missing a special on Exorcism on the History channel!? No. Football season. The thorn in my side, the bane of my existence, my cross to bear. All I want to do on Sundays is curl up on my couch and watch bad movies or the history channel or E!. I was lamenting over my inability to do these things when I had an idea of how to improve football. "What if," I thought, "there was a network where women called the football games?" My spine tingled at the brilliance. It could be great. And I would watch it and like it. Perfect. See below for some of my Sunday football thoughts.

*Oh that Tom Brady. He's got two children and only one of them is legitimate. Also, I hate his chin. However the gene pool he's got going with Giselle is pretty top notch. Though I don't like either of them so I sort of hope their son inherits Giselle's boobs.
*I'm 99.9% positive that Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson because of that mom jeans and leopard print top fiasco. I'm also 99.9% sure it was him who set the wolves on her dog.
*Football players are so lovable when they go on Dancing with the Stars. Look at Michael Irving this season. He can't dance worth a crap but he's so precious you can't help but keep voting for him to stay. I wish football was more about dancing than about football.
*I like those Bengals this year. I'm always pulling for them in all their close games. I got to really love each of them in the one episode I watched of 'Hard Knocks.' Mostly that little Ochocinco. And Carson Palmer. Who couldn't help love that jumbo size red head?
*Eli Manning's barber should be ashamed of himself.
*On the topic of the Mannings and barbers. I love Peyton. Love him. I love him so much I would pretend to be a barber so I could touch his head once a month.
*All I know about Kurt Warner is that for awhile he was an old man grocery bag boy for awhile. I also remember that hideous outfit his wife wore to the super bowl when he was still playing for St. Louis.
*I like the hair commercials Pala-whatshisface from the Steelers does for Head and Shoulders. He does have beautiful hair and it does trick me into thinking Head and Shoulders is an adequate shampoo choice.
*Why are they playing a football games in England now? Don't they know football means something else in Europe? I'm sure that's how they got people to attend the event. "Hey, would you like free tickets to this football game?" Poor Europeans. Tricked by the Americans again.
*I hate how Brett Favre wears his jersey. It's too baggy and too long. He's a sexy man for 40+ but that baggy jersey is not doing him any favors.
*I always sort of thought the Dolphins were a team they made up for Ace Ventura Pet Detective.