Three Things:
FIRST:
In the last two weeks, I have encountered a slew of "Fake Patty Day" pictures on facebook. Apparently, it's a big deal. Though why, I do not know.
Perhaps it is due to any of the following reasons:
1) You enjoy being photographed when your mouth is tinted green due to beer that's been tampered with by food coloring.
2) You enjoy being photographed after you have spilled beer (or some liquid) on your shirt. Seriously, more wet spots on shirts than a wet t-shirt contest.
3) You are Irish?? Oh wait, the Irish do not care about this "holiday".
4) You love green beads. This same love could be satisfied on Fat Tuesday.
5) Your favorite cereal is Lucky Charms.
6) You enjoy wearing group t-shirts that cleverly indicate how drunk you are going to get.
7) You like throwing up.
If I've missed anything, please do let me know.
SECOND:
Personality Flaw #982:
Yesterday I was grocery shopping and I stopped at the bakery. I wanted a loaf of rye bread and I wanted them to slice the loaf for me. Two simple requests. I waited in line patiently for my turn. When the man turned and asked me what I wanted, I boldly said,
"I would like a loaf of rye bread. please."
He smiled and obliged. And how proud was I--participating in a successful social interaction!?
But then the man turned around and asked me how I wanted it sliced.
Well.
Usually.
I mean USUALLY, there is a little piece of paper stuck to the glass with the different widths you can choose for your sliced bread.
Usually.
I don't have it memorized people.
I don't.
So I looked.
And it wasn't there.
And there was a line behind me.
And I started sweating and I got flustered.
So I said, "I don't care, whatever you pick."
He turned around. i breathed a sigh of relief and spaced out, waiting for my bread.
And then. He turned around and handed me a beautiful loaf of rye bread.
Beautiful, beautiful, bread.
Unsliced.
And I opened my mouth to ask for a do-over.
But he had already twisty-tied the bag shut.
And twisty-tied my hopes shut.
And there was a line.
And I was sweaty and flustered.
So I said,
"thank you." And put my head down and walked away.
And then I went home and I tried to slice my loaf of bread with a steak knife. And then I swept the floor for 20 minutes because it was covered with bread crumbs.
Life Lesson #982: Grow a pair.
THIRD:
Forgive the lapse in posting. List of things that have happened and kept me busy: holidays, engagement, new job, surviving the misery of winter, dominating Donkey Kong Returns via the wii. missed ya'll.
