FNL

There is this thing about me that you probably know if you know me.

I have a teensy, tiny, bit of an obsessive personality when it comes to television shows.

Just the good ones. Promise. (we'll forget about my love of "The Nanny", "One Tree Hill", and "Dharma and Greg" momentarily).

I just can't help it.

I become obsessed with the characters, the relationships, the failures. I judge them like they are real people. I get crushes on them like they are real people. I loathe them like they are real people.

And when they are over, I mourn them like real people.

Can't help it. I can't. I get fixed on a show and just watch it obsessively. I prefer to watch them after they have gone off the air so I don't have to deal with hiatuses or summer breaks or waiting a full week to find out what happens next.

My latest obsession is Friday Night Lights. Everyone always told me. They always said, "watch it. it's going to change your life." So about two weeks ago, I started watching it.

I just finished it. Yes. I watched an entire 5-season show in two weeks.

You may wonder if I have a job. I actually do. And I work 9-5 but my television viewing skills are unmatched. If there was an Olympic Sport in viewing television shows, I would receive a gold medal for the U.S. of A.

I am completely in love with FNL (note how I now use the fan lingo). Saracen, QB1. Oh my. Be still my heart. When his father died, I wept on my couch for an hour. When Julie broke his heart, I hated her for the entire next season. And then there is Riggins. You can't even imagine. I never thought I'd like an alcoholic who wore cut-off shirts until Riggins. I was mistaken. And Coach. Those tortured eyes. That good heart...

I could go on. But I won't. I will spare you and attempt to keep any remaining dignity intact.

I finished this show and as always, I now have a void in my life. In an attempt to fill this void, I try and bring up the show casually in conversations. Like so:

Me: "Happy Friday!"
Unsuspecting Coworker: "Happy Friday to you, too!"
Me: "Do you know what I always think of on Fridays?"
Unsuspecting Coworker: "What?"
Me: "That show Friday Night Lights..." (then I look at them hopefully. If they gasp and say, "me too!" We launch into a 45 minute conversation about our favorite story lines, the hottest men, and how awesome Connie Britton is as Tami Taylor. If they stare at me blankly, I mumble, "My blood sugar is low. It's been a long week. I need a cocktail. I found out my identity was stolen. I ate bad sushi last night. Do you ever contemplate the Native Americans and just get really sad? What is your favorite color? How do you think you'll die? I don't think all dogs go to heaven--some of them are real bitches.)

Anything to detract from the obsessive moron that I am.

I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get over this obsession of mine. If I'll ever be one of those people who is like, "eh, I'll watch that show if it's on," instead of being the girl who drinks champagne when t.v. couples get married or wept when Felicity cut her hair or still sort of believes that one of these days, Dr. Carter will see her and he will fall madly in love with her and pick up right where they left off when she was 17, having wild fantasies about him. (Sorry fiance. You never get over your first love.)

Probably. I'll probably always be that girl.

Why!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

...do people say 'fantabulous.' gross.

...do I have two full time jobs. 1) regular job. 2) wedding planning.

...did the lady at the post office ask me what kind of stamps I wanted if she was just going to give me something else.

...have I consumed 6 glasses of water so far today and still do not have to pee. where is it all going?

...did I walk down a gross and deserted alley in order to avoid interacting with the Greenpeace lady for a second time.

...do people take naked pictures of their kids and put them on facebook/blogs. Gross. Remember the days when pictures like that stayed in private photo albums and they were only shared when a family member was trying to embarrass you? I do. I liked those days. I am not offended by naked babies. In fact, I plan on allowing my children to waddle around in only diapers for as long as possible. But I'll probably clothe them for any pictures I make public.

...do my elbows hurt.

That is all.

P.S. Forgive my lack of question marks. I randomly take issue with certain punctuation and then avoid it if at all possible. Exclamation points, for example, when used sarcastically make me laugh. But when used for real make me break out in hives. Facebook has made me use more exclamation points than I ever thought I would use in my life. You see, I find that if I don't use them on facebook, I come off as bitchy and toneless (one could argue that I am those things in real life, so I should be those things in my virtual life as well. hush.)

Example:

Happy Birthday
vs.
Happy Birthday!! (two, because 1 seems lame and 3+ seems slutty)

Of course, If all I can come up with to write to you on your birthday is "Happy Birthday!!" it's possible that I shouldn't be telling you happy birthday at all because I clearly don't care enough to write something clever or meaningful about our relationship on your day.

Now, as much as I'm annoyed with the ! and the ?, I don't mind them so much when used together. I think because when used together, it is an emotion I completely identify with.

!? (Shocked, Disbelief, Are you for realz!?!?!?!?) Uh huhhh. Love that combination.

Example based on a conversation I recently had with a coworker:
Her: Did you know babies are born without kneecaps??
Me: What!?!?! No.
Her: Yeah, no kneecaps. They just aren't there.
Me: Too bad for babies.

I do not know if it is true that people are not born with kneecaps. I did not fact check. But you get the idea. !?

Do you like how my P.S. turned into an entirely different (and longer) post!?!?!